As you read this, know that there are, at least, a dozen musicians this very second stuck in songwriting camp, not allowed to set foot outside of their room until they come up with 12 usable beats and hooks for a major label recording artist. The manager calls to check in every hour and threatens the songwriter that should they fail to come up with the goods, they’ll end up selling pretzels at the gas station, at the very best.
Worse still, all those ideas will likely end up in some hard disk and eventually get eaten up by an insurance-friendly fire many years later. As for the songwriter, they’ll frantically try to call their connections, end up on the booze and start selling tunes for children’s morning shows. It’s hard to chase either the truth or your muse like that.
However, Father of Zen has taken a different approach. The songwriter and leader of his own version of a global supergroup has learned to avoid anxiety and conflict. Instead, he’s taken a good look at the world every day for years and years and stacked up his best songs. He locked them away for safekeeping. And when the doors to the safe were open, and he heard his songs once more, he decided that they still spoke the truth.
The result is the aptly titled album “Prose Before Hoes,” a bookish, funny, and, most importantly, well-crafted collection of songs about a world that is heartbreaking, beautiful, and just plain absurdly hilarious all at the same time.
Just take a listen to the spooky intro that rolls into gritty, half-recited, half-sung vocals on the opening track “Highway.” This is a fast ride into a hellish place where you’re always one second too late, and where nobody particularly wants you around.
But this is not just a set of existential questions placed over dark-sounding instrumentation. Sure, there is some despair in the terrace anthem of “Man U,” but that’s simply because, as a fan myself, cheering on this particular Premier League is guaranteed to only bring misery and a monumental pub tab.
In fact, if the collection of songs reveals anything about the man behind the Greek myths-inspired moniker, it is that while he’s troubled about the state of the world, he sure has been able to keep a smile on his face, unlike those poor souls still trying to serve a chorus to the major labels.
“Oh Melania” features a beat straight out of 90s Drum and Bass, and the eternal question of why none of the world’s beauties would choose a rich, old guy from the U.S. over a young, fit, Eastern European son. Oh, well!
Similarly, “Pump My Cheese” feels like it could’ve originated back in the time when alt-rock and hip-hop first started fraternising. It sounds like Faith No More is getting, by some bizarre mistake, the opportunity to pen a tune for a Disney kids’ show. It’s got charm for days!
And, so does Father of Zen. Sure, some of his influences include the brainy works of Lou Reed, Leonard Cohen, or Tom Waits. But he ain’t no snob. Chanting along with soccer games, or serving dark humour about nuclear disasters, keeps the spirit young, and makes listening to “Prose Before Hoes” feel a bit like having a nice cold beverage on a hot Summer’s day, while watching the news with the sound turned off.
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