Why did Lily Allen cross the street? So that she could throw herself into upcoming traffic while screaming: “Make sure you get this from my good side!”
Allen returns with a brand new album, “West End Girl.” It’s only her fifth in a nearly 20-year career. This suggests either that the artist’s never been exactly strapped for cash despite her mock working-class accent, or that she’s seen no point writing songs unless someone’s also writing about Ms. Allen in the gossip columns.
The recent public breakup with her husband, who, I take it, is on some popular children’s TV show, provides Allen with a succulent jugular to dig her fangs in. This promises to be entertaining!
But make no mistake about it. Lily Allen is hugely talented! Allen is one of the great humorists of our day.
However, unlike most of British comedy, she, seemingly, can never poke fun at herself. Her biggest hits are “Smile,” a song where she rejoices at her former partner’s misery, “Not Fair,” where she mocks a former partner’s sexual incompetence, and, now, “Pussy Palace,” where she feigns shock at her soon-to-be ex’s love shack and sexual proclivities.
“West End Girl” isn’t an album so much as a gossip paperback that you read on a short flight. It’s the musical equivalent of Prince Harry’s “Spare.” Similarly, the red-headed former royal is also convinced that there are conspiracies designed to ruin him, that all rivals suffer from jealousy, and that the world needs to hear the real story.
And, I was surprised to find out that both the former Prince and Allen enjoy poking fun at others’ misery. One of them once dressed as a nazi, and the other as Dr. Luke’s nurse. Classy!
I should get back to the music, of course. However, without context, I fear that this set of songs is unlikely to mean much to you. But, er, yes. Is the album any good?
The lyrics are fantastic. Forget the fact that their author is bitter, or that Allen is complaining about a cheating husband with whom she admits she was in an open marriage. Lily Allen is hilarious when she writes songs about how others have wronged her. That’ll never change!
Allen’s new dating life is summarized with the lines: “And now I’m looking at my Tinder, well, maybe I’m more of a Hinger/He wants to take me out to dinner, hope he looks better than his picture.”
And, Allen’s previous love life is immortalized with the lyrics: “Duane Reade bag with the handles tied/Sex toys, butt plugs, lube inside/Hundreds of Trojans, you’re so fucking broken/How’d I get caught up in your double life?“
That’s good stuff! Can we get Allen to write for a sketch show, please?
Musically, however, the 14-strong song collection gets a bit dull. The majority of the songs borrow some kind of melodic motif, beat, or production trick from trendy 2025 pop tracks. While this is what Allen has always done, it makes listening to 2006’s “Alright, Still,” a bit of a chore, unless you’re nostalgic for those days. The new album is likely to suffer a similar fate.
Perhaps the best summation of “West End Girl” is delivered through the album’s artwork. The cover features an oil painting of the upper-class Lily Allen, who is wearing a gaudy, puffy jacket, looking disinterestedly at you. Allen’s a villain, sure. But, just like the best ones from the picture show, she always has the best, last lines.
