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Honestly dishonest: The Qwarks and Dutch Tulips reviewed

The Qwarks and Dutch Tulips reviewed

Dutch Tulips – Sick Middle

It’s amazing how many opportunities life presents to the ones that can really talk a good game. Sure, you could be a salesman, but you might be thinking too small. The jobs of politician, lawyer, criminal, rockstar, all rackets in their own right, are ripe for the picking if you always manage to utter just the right words. 

After all, Metal Machine Music by Lou Reed has sold in excess of 100,000 copies in the U.S. alone, and that record included exclusively noise that not even the artist who made it heard it in its entirety. Reed was, however, a clever, cynical man with whose persona many were fascinated. 

Boston, MA’s Dutch Tulips have paused their would-be antics as criminals to take a shot at rock stardom, and Sick Middle is a convincing jumping-off point. There’s a nifty little indie-rock song at the heart of it, but what’s most impressive is that Dutch Tulips sound like they really need an audience to talk trash to. We think that’s the sign of madness, as well as star potential. 

The Qwarks – Inefficient Bondage

The Sexual Revolution arrived as a frightening proposition to some, and, wouldn’t you know it, the British were always bound to be among the most affected. This is, at least, the conclusion we’ve come to after hearing The Qwarks’ fantasy of intimacy gone wrong on Inefficient Bondage

Sure, sexual perversion is served in pretty much every sort of variety nowadays, remotely or in person, at the click of a button. Still, it also creates expectations that are difficult to live up to for some. Inefficient Bondage reads like a groupie’s memoir gone wrong. Could you tell me again about the time you met Phil Collins in a bar?

Over a classic rock feist of distorted guitar riffs and solos, the Brighton-native runs down all the reasons why he is not on board with the idea of kinky sex. Funny and well-played, this is an accidental tribute to docile conjugality. 

About author

Eduard is a writer, blogger, and musician. As a content writer, Eduard has contributed to numerous websites and publications including FootballCoin, Extra Time Talk, Fanatik, Sportskeeda, Nitrogen Sports, Bavarian FootballWorks, etc. He runs and acts as editor-in-chief of the alternative rock music website Eduard is also a musician, having played and recorded in various bands and as a solo artist.
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